


wake up.

by wilburshit



Category: transgender - Fandom
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-06
Updated: 2021-01-06
Packaged: 2021-03-17 12:08:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 623
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28599717
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wilburshit/pseuds/wilburshit
Summary: a funny story about a silly child named Quennel. he has a hard life.





	wake up.

**Author's Note:**

> hi!  
> this is my first time writing something, idk if this is the right place for text like this since this is not a fanfiction.  
> the following text might be triggering to some audience. (mentions of suicide, self-harm and abuse.)  
> english isnt btw my first language and this is vent-ish text so sorry if its messy.

You wake up in your bed in pain. Everything hurts. Breathing hurts. Your arms hurt. Your thighs hurt. As you get up sitting in your bed, you feel dizzy and really just pure pain. You could really use a glass of water right now. It's about 4am, you have no clue why you are awake, is it just the pain or...something else?  
Suddenly you feel sharp pain in your chest as you inhale. You grab your chest and scream internally. You made the mistake. You made the thing you never should do. You slept in your binder. You got up instantly, into the bathroom and took it off, just hoping you didn't break your ribs or anything. It would be horrible. Your health is already bad....at least mental health.  
Your name is QUENNEL. Your gender is ̸̦̐̔͛ ̷͚̥͎̒̐ ̶̧̛̛̜̆́͗ ̸͉̘͂̇̍ ̵̛̮̥̟̘̊̒̂̑ ̴͔̳̼̮̑ͅ ̴̹̠̬̫̖̊ ̷͖̝̼͎̈́̆͠ͅ ̷̖̜̪̭̼̈̅̍̾ ̵̩̝̠̿ ̵͍̈́͝ ̶̘̗̅͒ , and you go by he/they pronouns. You are asexual, and about 14 years of age. You live with your mom, who doesn't support your gender, and calls you with the gross name "Alice". You visit your dad at the weekends, he is really supportive and one of the reasons for the divorce was your mom being lgbtphobic. You really wish you could forever move to your dad, but for some reason that isn't an option. You have purple hair, but not vibrant. You really love grunge aesthetic. You are a capricorn, and your birthday is on ̴͔̳̼̮̑ͅ ̴̹̠̬̫̖̊ ̷͖̝̼͎̈́̆͠ͅ th of January. You like listening to music like, Wilbur Soot, SharaX, CORPSE, Cavetown and Billie Eilish. Oh, and of course Mother Mother too. Your favorite song by them is Oleander. Your all time favorite song though, it has to be Jubilee Line. Your favorite drink is tea, because it feels warm. Warm things are nice, you dislike cold strongly. Cold things aren't nice. Winter isn't nice. Snow isn't nice. Dead bodies aren't nice. Especially if they are someones you know.  
You go back in your bed, and try to get sleep, even though your every limb hurts so much you could rip your own skin off. Why did you do those scars. Why. You are useless. You deserve this pain. Your thoughts are taking over your mind. You look at your phone, and its 6am. How did time pass this fast, just you and your disgusting thoughts? You have several missed calls from.....him. Him. You read all the texts he has sent you.  
"Please answer."  
"Quennel."  
"QUENNEL."  
"I'll fucking do it if you keep ignoring me."  
"I will kill myself and it will be YOUR FAULT."  
You start crying reading those. You feel fear taking over your body as you try to write messages about you were in pain and couldn't answer, how you are so sorry, how you...  
You are tired. Tired of this. Is this how relationships should work? It's your first one. You want to tell him to fucking kill himself. You don't care. But he knows where you live and he'll do it again. He will fucking ̵̡̨̾̃͑̈́ ̵̮̈́ ̴͚̹̼̎̇͑ͅ ̵̰͍͔̃͒ ̸̢̯͉̹̹̈́ ̴̭͖̣̋̓ ̵͈̦͂̈́ ̴̢̳̻̼̃͌ you again. And again. And a-  
You wake up in cold sweat. You quickly check your phone, and its 5am. No missed calls. No abusive boyfriend. It seems you fell asleep after your thoughts took over you. This wasn't a bad nightmare, these disturbing dreams are normal to you. Speaking of normal, nor/mal pronouns seem pretty cool, you think. Like unironically. They sound so cool. "Nors hair is so pretty! I wonder what mals future job is." You get lost in your thoughts about pronouns.  
Your mom suddenly calls you down. It's already 7am? Oh well. Another day of complete hell.


End file.
